Somewhere along the way in the middle of 2017 I caught the attention of a lady in spirit who helped me inwardly to learn more about tantra as a spiritual practise and she was part of 3-4 spirit guides that interacted with me around this time helping me with different areas of spiritual development. I simply called her “The Green Lady” because she never told me her name and whenever she was around she would flash a spark of bright emerald green colour similar to Archangel Raphael. Emerald green is the spiritual colour associated with people whom are healers. She shared with me that when she was physically incarnated she lived somewhere in Europe and explained how she was angry over her partner whom eventually became a victim of pornography and it ruined their relationship, she clearly took this knowledge and resentment back with her and I think she shared this with me because of knowing that I myself had an addiction to watching pornography from a young age.
I had booked myself onto a tantra massage workshop in London for the following year, but the night before this event I had somehow pulled a muscle in one of my legs causing me to limp about, and I knew with a large heavy bag full of things that I was never going to be able to carry this around London let alone make it to venues on time, so I cancelled my train tickets. She made a passing comment to someone inwardly around me in a disappointed tone of voice “You don’t realise how healing this could have been for him.” I wasn’t sure precisely how it was going to heal me but I did know a bit about spiritual energies at this point including the role of the meta-physical serpent for spiritual purification. I know a lot more now of course, that is to say a lot of physical health ailments, chronic conditions, diseases, illnesses, mental health conditions and even bodily dis-figuration in the face due karma all have underlying spiritual causes connected either to the unconscious creation of negative energies or patterns of soul behaviour and that tantric energy can assist in purification of this bad energy.
Loving intent and energy can actually cancel out negative karmic effects and a caring physical touch can likewise begin to heal and reverse the decline or degeneration of physical karmic effects by releasing ego, muscular blockages and unprocessed content stored in the chakras. So I never made it to the workshop, however I did get to practise a massage using something called the astral plane, that is to say you can use the mind to form and interact by way of a mental or psychic body and experience inwardly something very similar to the real thing.
Up until this point I had mostly been using prayer and meditation as my main spiritual practise, although eventually I would get into yoga seriously and I became somewhat of a yogi for a period of weeks or months, which seemed to speed up releasing karma. Doing yoga, especially kryia-yoga enabled the energy channels in my body to open and expand more allowing energy to move around more freely. Someone whom I was interacting with online one day explained how a form of ‘sexual yoga’ could produce energy you can get to rise up the spine to achieve higher consciousness rather like Kundalini. I actually did this and by using the mind I realised it was possible to pull this energy up from the pelvis higher into the body and I had a go at swirling it around my second chakra in order to balance it one morning, soon after this a different female voice came back to me and said “You’ve got enough creative ideas”, probably why people with bipolar report of feeling more creative. Mostly at the time I was trying to come up with a way of visualising and creating a diagram that could depict the necessary qualities of balancing the ego so as to avoid creating negative energies or ego impurity as well as highlight spiritual boundaries in relation to things like, God, evil and lessons learned from Archangels like Michael and Lucifer whom I had both interacted with by this point and represented real character issues in relationship to higher plans and decision making.
Somewhere around this period I became fascinated with something called ‘ascension’, the idea that souls of a lower vibration eventually sink into despair and souls of a high vibrational most often of a loving quality begin to rise or ascend. I came across a video on YouTube from someone by the name of Danny Searle speaking about ascension from a New Age perspective, there was some good information, but I also felt there was some information that just seemed too outlandish, however I distinctly remember him describing ‘sexual energy blending’ as a form of more advanced sexuality, it transformed sex from a merely physical act into a deeply spiritual one when one mixes sacred masculine energies with sacred feminine energies. For this to be really effective, it’s necessary to purify the body of harmful energies and become aware of sin, transgression and karma and the main causes of impurity, something that I’d had a lot of experience with up until this point mainly through my own needs and seeking restoration through Shamanic practises and understanding, this was around the period I realised bad energy is frequently due to causing karma between other people or at times divine transgression such as sinning against God and higher laws, which everyone really needs to take seriously because so many people don’t understand this is one of the main reasons many people fall ill with a whole range of problems.
To my surprise I actually managed to make ascension some months later after clearing out all my ego, I lay in bed one night in a state of heightened alertness wondering what was actually going to happen and far from any outlandish waking up on a new world and mists clearing, I simply woke up in my own bed the next morning and discovered that the ambient energy around me was very high in vibration, almost like breathing love in with every breath, and I’d apparently in prior days just been inwardly through something called “The Last Supper” during one of the nights, which is actually significant to anyone Christian looking to ascend. During this time I saw the entity form of many of my friends and family showing themselves to me as dim embers of light as they visited me during the night to say farewell, later I would discover that ascension is about a big frequency jump and others can’t make this unless they’ve worked out all their lower aspects of self. I reason that ascension is something that’s beneficial to do together as a community or society at large as else you risk separating yourselves from all the people you know, and whilst they continue to physically all look the same more or less when you have ascended, you can tell they aren’t inwardly the same being any longer as they have better self-development and soul evolution; however if you’re finding yourself sick of being around the people you’re with, then ‘up’ is the way out of ‘the matrix’.
At the end of my Kundalini awakening process I had an invitation into Heaven by way of ascension and in this new much higher frequency and dimension I soon felt a horrible sense of dread and unease whenever I wasn’t doing anything productive or doing things quickly enough due to something like procrastination (connected to fear vibrations). Things around the house somehow seemed different or there were new things that I knew weren’t there before, they just appeared out of nowhere. My mother was singing a new song uncharacteristic for herself which perhaps not so coincidentally had the lyrics “love is in the air” by John Paul Young which I found both funny and very disconcerting at the same time. There were other things I noticed, suddenly the house seemed much cleaner, my parents had both suddenly become psychic over night and I was now seeing symbolic psychic pictures and symbols in front of myself even when my eyes were still open saying certain ordinary things like when dinner was being served or that I needed to wake up in the morning. Sometimes I also saw sentences and messages being typed out in front of myself, but they never seemed to remain up for long enough for me to read them properly, but some part of ‘me’ or someone behind my veil of consciousness can read these. Ascension is a bit like the movie Groundhog day starring Bill Murry, you work to improve and optimise all areas of your life with a key focus on eliminating toxic and egoic behaviours, bad habits and harmful beliefs.
It was clear to me that my parents were no longer the parents I had had before, they had different souls and consciousnesses, yes, they still physically looked like my parents. My mother was now spiritually self-realised and seemed calmer, more settled and wiser and my dad had a much worse temperament in mind and on only the first day he managed to manifest an entity to stick to me after I ignored him getting my breakfast and an energy fizzed in my chest cavity. I don’t get on with him anymore after I made the connection between my own physical disability being primarily as a result of not meeting many of his expectations earlier in life, something I found bitterly unfair that has resulted in my paraplegia. I also deeply hated entity attachments by this point having had so many during Kundalini, so I immediately resented him for this and he didn’t recover from damaging my early perceptions of this new soul. Soon after I recall meditating and making prayers asking for someone to come in and replace him. I lasted for several tentative weeks in this new higher heavenly frequency before being told to “fall” again by someone anonymous with the line “He needs the lessons” of which I still to this day haven’t learned what they are, but I speculate it was for not getting on with my father, but this was enough to at least validate to me that ascension was indeed real, highly mystical and esoteric as it seems to completely break the current scientific paradigm where the traditional laws of physics just don’t seem to apply any longer concerning the management of different realities.
I’d recently had a dream confirming that they were going to make me a mystic around the time my explorations of spiritual counselling and psychotherapy had come to an abrupt end. One of the last things she helped me to do was learn how to speak to consciousness, she took me to a bar in what seemed like a dream and told me to put my awareness into the empty space around me and politely ask a question. A Chinese god later showed me something similar, but said in their realm it required much stricter maturity to do so. When you’re looking up, you’re not just seeing stars, asteroids and planets (or the ceiling), but you’re starting to worship and it facilitates creating a connection from your mind and awareness coming into contact with divine spirit, part of an immense collection of people, none physical beings and consciousness that exist without needing to take form.
The last time I had contact with the Green Lady was in the way of a dream around February 2018, I finally got to see what she looked like, her appearance was in her mid-late 30s with short black hair, in this spontaneous inner meeting she was helping to support my backing of creating some tantra teachings or maybe a course, which was a little controversial at the time as I’d already been putting a lot of work and effort into understanding the connections between bipolar and spirituality and had long already begun writing about this topic. Eventually I learned that ordinarily you might not be permitted to do two big things which I discovered after a different spiritual guide with a reptile-humanoid appearance presented a document to me making it clear there is a higher law in existence forbidding more than one ‘abundance plan’ during a lifetime and so I agreed more or less to forfeit earnings from this other project should it ever come into being. I reason from this there must be plenty of entrepreneurs, owners of companies that have fallen foul of this due to over development, too many ideas or have become too big and really need to either give more back, do more humanitarian or ecological work, down scale or spiritually share some of their ideas in order to balance things out, else you risk having someone monopolise a new area or a country that has too much power relative to the rest of the planet.
I briefly experienced several different inner spiritual realities after parting ways from my Source God due to a fallout over my new understanding of how the Kundalini process works and its subsequent mistreatment of some people. It was in these in-between realities that I learned there is a point where a world can meet spiritual ‘victory’ conditions within their spirit plane and this is something every world must surely be working towards in their internal battle between light and dark polarised consciousness.
I also learned that some dark polarised souls of people are almost certainly prepared to kill in order to gain or prevent certain information from coming to light. Entities called “dark forces” were something that Rudolf Steiner had either interacted with or knew about during his lifetime. All my spirit guide team belonged to this other realm (represented by electric-blue, emerald-green, red and yellow spirit orbs) and so I lost contact with most them after moving, although two of them including an African lady whom had later answered to my Archangel Michael prayers and The Green Lady whom I started this post about would briefly appear in the form of an apparition and a separate dream, but were no longer readily accessible to interact or speak with.
I believed by this point what I already knew about bipolar would likely to lead to a new shift in how many mental health conditions are perhaps seen or understood and as far as the tantra teaching community are concerned you’re not going to be able to produce a high quality tantric-energy course without understanding more about what causes bipolar due to its relationship to karma. When I was attending Reiki classes, a different spiritual guide clearly said to me “Once people know what causes bipolar the probability the light would win is very high” as it is connected to doing or thinking unloving or nonspiritual things as well as spiritual cleansing and spiritual awakening.
I confidently reason that in the future its possible everyone will eventually be able to learn about and experience the truth of God for themselves as it is revealed because this is the evolutionary direction of most worlds as it ties into a higher purpose. More people may also begin to learn how to be able to share spiritual energies with one another more safely without causing karma which could result in many more spiritual awakenings or possibly spiritual crisis instances, and that some of this can even be done without requiring Kundalini and it would slowly over time reveal even more knowledge about the causes of certain types of trauma and a better and more open knowledge of what constitutes good and evil that will help to prevent people from becoming spiritually sick.
It was in December that year that I decided to create my own spiritual health blog which I called “Psycho-spiritual Support” initially to help others online and later on to support my work on bipolar and mental health by demonstrating credibility and authority in this area by having somewhere I could share my own articles. There was a Facebook group to provide the ‘support’ side of things, but I eventually decided to close this and concentrate only on writing because there was too much ‘mental chatter’ from others being concerned their own spiritual help groups might become side lined and I found it difficult to manage and concentrate on authoring at the same time.